Are you wondering how to move on from estranged family? Estrangement is when one is emotionally and or physically distant from one or more family members.
Approximately 27% of the U.S. population are estranged and are familiar with its uncertain and ambiguous nature. Estrangement differs from the loss of a relationship as in death, there are no ceremonies, and often well-meaning others misunderstand what havoc estrangement brings.
Whether you desire reconciling or no future contact, it is challenging to carry on usually. In addition, you may experience waves of challenging, intense emotions.
Being estranged from family is a painful and complicated condition. Naturally, the estranged desires the ability to move on. This article discusses How To Move On From Family Estrangement and Three Keys to What To Do To Move On From Estranged Family.
Estrangement can be miserable. One piece of estrangement that gets in the way of “getting over” is being stuck in intense emotions. Getting over does not necessarily mean we don’t ever hope to improve our relationship and believe that reconciliation is possible. If that is what you want, we move on by living again.
Three Tips: Moving on From Estranged Family
1. Commit to Changing Your Daily Routine
You may be recently estranged and still in the throes of early grieving. You may be outraged, guilt-ridden, or in shock. If you find yourself here, take special care to slow your life down and process your grief. Allow yourself to feel, cry, do the self-talk that you are doing the best you can and take each day one step at a time.
Everyone’s experience is complex that may include years of turmoil, so remember the many sides of estrangement come together in how it affects us. Maybe you have been estranged for some time and are experiencing waves of strong emotions, like anger, guilt, and deep sadness.
It is essential to process your emotions and recognize that your emotions are an experience that does not define you when grieving. You can do daily practices to improve your well-being by taking actions that will move you forward.
You will benefit by gathering with friends and family that you feel comfortable with. Choose to spend time with people that love and value you.
Resurrect a hobby or start something that pleases you. It might be painting or writing, whatever you once enjoyed. Consider doing something that you have wanted for a while. Keep encouraging yourself that you have the right to take care of yourself.
Take a class, learn mindfulness, learn how to meditate, go for daily walks, and pray. You get to decide the specific daily activity, but be sure to act on that decision.
2. Be Mindful and do Self-Talk
Being mindful is paying attention to what you are thinking and feeling. Observe your thoughts without judgment.
When strong emotions take hold of you, you tend to get stuck in the thick of the emotion and focus a lot on the feeling and the events that brought about your discomfort. When you are mindful, remember that you can practice taking control of your thoughts by finding a new perspective.
Remind yourself you have done the best you could and are doing the best you can. Gift yourself with patience, kindness, and compassion, learn to trust yourself more, and be open to accepting what is happening to you. Processing emotions take acceptance of the feelings as they present themselves.
Rather than moving away, permit yourself to feel. To move forward, you will want to acknowledge the feeling without self-judgment.
You can remind yourself that you will get through this as you have other challenging times. That same strength is still there. Yes, estrangement hurts badly, but it takes using your inner strength to move forward. When we move through the stages of grief, we lean towards finding our way to acceptance.
Acceptance is not resisting the reality of the loss, and that one will have a different life for a while. When there is estrangement, acceptance is not about accepting you are resigned to not ever seeing your family again as in death but instead accepting the current loss of the relationship status.
Even if you do not want to see your family member again, the angst of remaining estranged presents a challenge. Kylie Agllias, the author of the remarkable book Family Estrangement A Matter of Perspective, describes how acceptance is a mindful decision to move forward, continue to live, and reframe how one thinks about estrangement. Agllias encourages one to behave differently and focus more on caring for oneself.
3. Get Support
Suppose you are isolated and experiencing prolonged feelings of depression and deep sadness. In that case, it is time to find a professional who can guide you toward feeling relief from the wounds of estrangement. Very many, the overwhelming waves of intense emotions require a trained professional to lead you towards mental balance and comfort.
There is great emotional distress from estrangement, and it causes one to feel grief. You may experience unrelenting feelings or have waves of feeling shocked, angry, feeling guilty, depressed, and sad. Doing daily actions and being mindful throughout your day of how you are thinking will make the difference in getting you to live again.
Moving on requires a conscious, compassionate practice to strengthen you. Your life will likely not be what you were hoping for, but you can improve your state by getting Support, being mindful, and leaning into self-compassion.
Estrangement is when one is emotionally and or physically distant from one or more family members. Approximately 27% of the U.S. population are estranged and are familiar with its uncertain and ambiguous nature. There are no ceremonies to comfort you, and often, well-meaning others misunderstand what havoc estrangement brings.
Whether you desire reconciling or no future contact, it is challenging to carry on usually. In addition, you may experience waves of challenging, intense emotions.
Being estranged from family is a painful and complicated condition. Naturally, the estranged desires are the ability to move on. This article discusses How To Move On From Family Estrangement and Three Keys to What To Do To Move On From Estranged Family.
Get The eBook: Feeling Heartbroken and Alone? How to Pick Up the Pieces When You are Estranged.
Resources:
- Agllias, Kylie. Family Estrangement A Matter Of Perspective. New York, Routledge, 2017.
- Coleman, Joshua. Rules of Estrangement. New York, Harmony Books, 2020.
- Morin, Marie. Feeling Heartbroken and Alone? How to Pick Up the Pieces When You are Estranged. eBook. 2022.
- Morin, M.L. [Morin Holistic Therapy]. (2022, January 4 ). What is Family Estrangement? You Are Not Alone.
- Morin, M.L. [Morin Holistic Therapy]. (2021, September 8). Diaphragmatic Breathing: 5 Minute Deep Breathing Exercise for Beginners.
- Morin, Marie. How to Deal with Estranged Family During the Holidays (2021, November 21) Sixty and Me. https://sixtyandme.com/estranged-family-holidays/
- Pillemer, Karl. Fault Lines Fractured Families and How to Mend Them. New York Penguin Random House, 2020.
