How do you set healthy boundaries for your wellness? (Five-Step Plan)

Healthy boundaries consider all areas of our wellness.  Boundaries are essential for aligning ourselves with our well-being. We are all familiar with our physical health and the need for enough sleep, drinking water, eating well, and being active.  Being mindful of all four of our pillars of wellness will bring optimal health. This article discusses the importance of physical, emotional, spiritual, and relational aspects for overall well-being. A five-step plan provides a guide to follow your boundaries for wellness.

Four Pillars of Wellness

Physical wellness considers your sleep if you’re drinking enough water, proper nutrition, and physical activity.

Relational wellness includes having a support network in place and people and your corner. Remember, the relationship you cultivate with yourself is extremely vital to your well-being. 

Spiritual wellness frames your life with purpose and meaning. Your values and beliefs will guide your behaviors. In essence, contemplating spiritual health aligns your values and ideas with your actions. When we have a connection to a higher power, there is a deeper meaning to life, and we transcend our limitations. Plus, the strength experienced creates stronger connections with others.  

Emotional wellness encompasses your managing emotional states, stress management and acts as a support so you can adjust to challenging situations and conditions.  When we cultivate emotional wellness, we are positioned for resiliency, the ability to overcome adversities. 

Boundaries for Wellness

Boundaries are knowing you are responsible for your actions and your wellness alone. Boundaries provide a fence around you, not a wall. Having boundaries means you get to decide what is within the limit and what stays out.  Boundaries can be changed when circumstances allow for a different approach. Healthy boundaries allow us to determine what we do and who we spend time. Physical, emotional, time, material are a few boundaries. Boundaries provide a fence for us so we can align with our choices. 

Boundaries for our wellness can become complicated due to a few misbeliefs.  A clear indication you need to set healthy boundaries is when your misbeliefs foil your wellness.  We may be overwhelmed, exhausted, anxious, sick, and or stressed out enough to create enough discomfort to come to your attention.  Blurred relationship boundaries combined with misbeliefs play a role in compounding stress, creating obstacles towards our wellness. 

Misbeliefs Obstacles to Wellness

Misbeliefs may be feeling guilty when you say no. You may believe that the needs of others are more important than your beliefs.  You may think it is selfish to take time for you or to say no.  You may believe you must show up and help others and, in turn, neglect your care.

Often, we discover things need to change when our discomfort level is alerting us with feelings of guilt or resentment. We may feel taken advantage of but continue our behaviors.  We may say yes when we want to say no. We might have so many patterns and emotions that we put ourselves last. Unhealthy wellness patterns are often rooted in misbeliefs.

A gentle reminder that this is hard work, and sometimes we need someone to come alongside us and assist in challenging times. Changes. Sometimes a trusted friend has experience with boundaries. A therapist can be a safe place to support you in this process. It just takes some patience, grace, perseverance, and self-care. 

Healthy Boundaries

Having healthy boundaries for wellness looks at your values and compares them with your behaviors. Misbeliefs such as thinking we are selfish to take time for ourselves are problematic. Align with your values that prioritize your holistic self-care.    Do you value your well-being enough to make your wellness a priority?  If you think setting boundaries is your next step, it’s obvious things need to change.   

Consider a mindset shift.  Have a good look at what you value, and choose your well-being.  Remind yourself that you matter enough to make the shift.  Want less stress and life satisfaction?  It’s time to bring your wellness up front and center and create the boundaries for a wellness plan to get your journey on track.

Five-Step Plan

  1. Examine your values and beliefs regarding your role in relationships. If you’re being alerted, there are some glitches in your views. Meditate, journal, and or speak to a trusted friend or professional and process your beliefs.  Do the self-talk, remind yourself that your needs are essential, valuable, and loved.

Do you value your wellness? Your emotional need for privacy, accomplishments, safety and security, purpose, and the need to be autonomous and independent- make your decisions and 

  1. Permit yourself to attend to your needs compassionately.  We are not mean or selfish when we say no; it makes us wise. 
  2. Start slowly by resurrecting your assertiveness skills. Decide to speak your voice despite your fear of repercussions. 
  1. Create a plan for your boundary. Healthy boundaries are clearly stated, easy to remember, and can be able to adhere. Think of two types of boundaries, your boundary for yourself where you decide what is important and staying true to valuing your needs. Your boundary in relationships is your ability to keep your wellness value lined up with your behaviors with others.  You say yes when it works for you and no when you want to. 
  2.  Extend kindness and respect as you would to a dear friend. Treat yourself no less than how you would treat your friend. Remind yourself you are doing the best you can and be generous with self-grace.  When your boundary is respected, let the person know your appreciation. 

Boundaries are essential for aligning ourselves with our well-being. We are all familiar with our physical wellness and the need for enough sleep, drinking water, eating well, and being active.  Being mindful of all four of our pillars of wellness will bring optimal health. This article discusses the importance of physical, emotional, spiritual, and relational aspects for overall well-being. A five-step plan is your guide to setting boundaries for wellness.

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