Cut off from estranged adult children? Being estranged from your adult child can be very distressing. The ambiguous condition and uncertainty participating in estrangement can be anxiety proving. Being informed about the concern of estrangement, symptoms of stress, and identifying panic attacks will help you manage anxiety and feel better. This article discusses anxiety about a cut-off adult child and Five Tips to Help You Feel Better.
The sad truth about being cut off is that many parents worry about when it will end. Parents are anxious about how long separation will last and how their relationship will improve.
Since estrangement is complex, there may be many elements that concern you if there’s been a divorce, parental alienation, the presence of mental illness or substance abuse, or difficult in-law. Parents are upset about the societal changes, mismatched expectations, and if there have been long-standing communication issues. The cut-off can result from a collection of these elements.
Symptoms of Anxiety
You may be nervous or restless, weak and tired, having trouble concentrating or focusing on anything else but the estrangement with your kid, overthinking the worst possible outcome, and not sleeping.
Panic attack versus anxiety
Panic attacks differ from Anxiety because Anxiety is worrying about something in the future. Fear is a response to something that is either real or perceived. For example, you may feel trembling or shaking and a pounding heart in response to witnessing a car accident. You may also have similar sensations in response to a perceived threat, such as concern that you are in imminent danger. It may be perceived but not necessarily accurate. If you have had panic attacks, self-treatments such as deep breathing, mindfulness, and identifying that you do not have a physical condition causing the sensations associated with panic are helpful.
Anxiety and the distress it causes can be uncomfortable but not as severe as a panic attack. Pressure from the condition increase stress. Worrying more than what is developmentally appropriate is when anxiety becomes troublesome. Anxiety does not come on as a sudden event. Individuals with anxiety and or anxiety disorders may overestimate an event or take things out of proportion. Stress can occur from a fear of a situation with ideations or thoughts and sometimes avoidance behaviors. Anxiety is not sudden but can vary in intensity from day to day.
Estrangement And Anxiety
The uncertain nature of estrangement is naturally anxiety-provoking. While everyone experiences anxiety. A higher degree of worry focused on the future outcome of your relationship can be problematic. When parents are frequently focused and anxious about what will happen with their relationship, they may experience anticipatory anxiety.
Anxiety is narrowly pointed toward possible outcomes in the future; anticipatory anxiety projects into your worst thoughts about the situation. In other words, this higher level of anxiety and higher stress.
For example, you may be worried that the estrangement will go on forever. Or, your thoughts may go to thinking that your relationship with your child will never improve.
Parents have no way of knowing or predicting how long they will be estranged.
In addition, while there are no guarantees of an outcome, it need not go to the worst possible result.
Parents wishing to repair and reconcile with their adult child will benefit by preparing to go the distance. Unfortunately, there is no guarantee, no definite timeline, or magic wand. Much of the angst around this condition is the uncertainty. Not knowing what someone is out of your control will decide and when they decide is stressful. Your best method of coping will be to manage and control what you do.
Anxiety and physical sensations can feel as though you are out of control.
Interventions and practices can lessen stress so you will feel more in control.
Choose something you prefer and commit to trying at least one thing.
If you are struggling with Anxiety, Follow up with a doctor’s examination.
Five Tips To Help You Feel Better
- Get A Physical Exam
Get checked by your medical doctor to ensure you don’t have any physical illness that can mimic the signs of anxiety. You will feel better if you are sure that none of your symptoms are caused by a disease or underlying medical condition.
- Do Self-Talk
If you’ve been overthinking or having anticipatory anxiety about your estrangement condition, self-talk will help you gain clarity. It may be that you are having negative thoughts about the situation you are experiencing. You may fear the worst.
Practicing self-talk is reframing what you say to yourself. You identify the negative thought and replace it with one that is true and more productive. Negative thoughts will increase your anxiety if you are hypercritical of your past actions and depressed or sad about them. Instead, list all the good things you have done as a parent and remind yourself often. Remind yourself of the sacrifices you made. Resist the temptation to remind your child.
Do the self-talk by telling yourself that you did the best you could. You may also acknowledge where you may have missed the mark. You can not change the past; taking responsibility takes a lot of courage. It also requires some objectivity and self-kindness.
If you go down the trap of self-criticism, defer to truthful statements about yourself. “I did the best I could at the time.” “I was there for my child, I provided for them, etc.”
Recognize your positive contributions and areas where you could have done better. Be incredibly kind to yourself and keep practicing. Self-talk is a habit worth forming. It will get easier as you continue.
- Do grounding exercises
During high anxiety levels, a grounding exercise will help you get down from the higher levels and find relief. Try the 5 4 3 2 1 practice.
In this exercise, you focus and stay in the present moment and pay attention to the sensations in your body. Notice Five objects, four different sounds, three textures, two smells, and one taste. This grounding will help you distract from the discomfort of anxiety and heightened focus on negative thinking and anticipatory anxiety.
Another grounding method is to redirect your attention. Watching a funny movie, talking to a friend, and petting your cat or dog can be excellent distractions.
- Sleep Well
Good sleep is essential to help us manage stress. Sleep hygiene involves preparing a comfortable, cozy sleeping area for your bed and eliminating screen use at least an hour before bedtime. You may want to take a warm bath or shower and listen to relaxing music. Recalling what you are grateful for, praying, and guided meditation can all promote relaxation. Reducing caffeine and only having coffee or tea in the morning will reduce the stimulating effects.
Do your best to sleep well; this is when you replenish your inner reservoir to go the long haul when you’re estranged.
- Commit to a Daily Routine
Research tells us that daily routines help us better deal with stressors and improve our sleep and mood. More than likely, if you are anxious, you may also be somewhat depressed. Doing daily things like going outside for a brisk walk, meditating, breathe work such as diaphragmatic breathing, journaling, and a gratitude practice will help you reduce stress but feel more in control of your situation,
When you are less stressed, you think more clearly. Keep a record on your paper calendar or phone and check your progress. Remember to give yourself credit for sticking to it.
Your daily self-care routine will help you build your reservoir to prepare you for the uncertain future. A self-care practice is more than a monthly salon visit or a lunch date.
Essentially, self-care is a boundary you set for your wellness.
Being estranged from your adult child can be very distressing. The ambiguous condition and uncertainty participating in estrangement can be anxiety proving. Being informed about the pressure of estrangement, symptoms of anxiety, and identifying panic attacks will help you manage stress and feel better. This article discusses anxiety about a Cut-Off Adult Child and Five Tips to Help You Feel Better.
